“A
relationship that needs to be worked on is not worth having!” This belief is
one of many ‘myths’ that can lead to relationship distress. None of us are
taught how to have a ‘good relationship’, yet relationships are hard work and
they take effort and skill to maintain and nurture. When we experience troubles
in relationships, we start to lose confidence in these and ourselves. This can
lead to feelings of depression or anxiety.
Many things can stop those in distressing relationships from seeking help,
such as a sense of pride, helplessness or anger. Conflict and arguments in
relationships often revolve around a ‘blame culture’ and we often feel that if
only the other person got help, then all would be ok. Again, this is a ‘myth’
that if acted on, will only lead to more conflict. In a relationship, both
parties have a role in keeping the distress alive and therefore have a ‘shared
responsibility’ to make changes. Psychological therapy for couples and
individuals can help those in relationships to gain an understanding of the
unhelpful patterns of behaviour and communication that maintain the distress
and find alternative ways to deal with differences.
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